That Didn't Just Happen...Did It?

In a prior post, I shared that Nate was potty training and doing great...better than great.  The only problem is that he wouldn't poop in the potty. (Yes...most of you don't care about this, so feel free to stop reading now.)  Well, yesterday, I left him with a sitter for a few hours and he did it!  He just told her he had to go and went like a big boy.  I couldn't believe it.  I even asked if she could come back today! ;)

That was going to be my big exciting post for today (not that anyone but me actually cares about it), but NO...an event happened today that totally overshadows that news...a very horrible and disturbing event!!

Zachary had a Sing-a-Long performance at school today.  He has been so excited about it all week.  He kept telling me that he was singing a solo.  I couldn't believe it...well, I shouldn't have, because what he meant was that he was standing in front of the microphone with two other kiddos.  Which is totally cool, but very different.  Anyways, he was very excited.  He kept telling me to make sure I was there on time. :)  I'm rarely ever late, so I thought that was funny.

Nate and I arrived 30 minutes early and got in line outside of the school.  Nate was running around and refusing to listen to me.  You know, acting like a toddler without a nap.  After about 15 minutes he walks over to me and says "poop".  After confirming that he really had to go, I asked the dad behind me to save my spot and I headed into the school with Nate on my hip.  I open the door to the school and ALL the students were heading to the assembly.  I couldn't "break through" their lines to get to a restroom.  AND THEN IT HAPPENED!  I felt this warm feeling down my arm and could faintly hear the word "poop" in my ear.  The look on my face must have been horrible, because a teacher  immediately asked if I was ok.  I just blurted out the word "restroom".  She pointed and I ran. 

By the time we made it, there was poop all down his legs, sliding down my arm and now in my hand...my hand people...my hand!  Imagine, half  Elmer's school glue and half Elmer's paste (remember that paste with the little stick?)...OMG!  It was everywhere.  I can't even describe how horrible and gross it was.  I couldn't get it off of him and everything else.  I had no wipes...I had left the bag in the car...what???  Did you know that toilet paper will not get this type of poop off of anything?  I think I finally just massaged the poop into his skin, washed us up the best I could, which wasn't very well, and then headed out to get back in line. (Something else horrible took place, but I can't admit what it was...I was panicked...you do crazy things.)  The line was already moving, so I guess we had been in the bathroom for about 15 minutes. 

I smelled, he smelled, and there we were smiling at Zachary while he sang as if nothing had happened.  That's how much I love you Zachary.  I really wanted to leave, and the fact that I started crying about 5 minutes into the clean up didn't help!!  But we stuck around, recorded the performance and took you home a few minutes early.  (If you are reading this Mrs. Stagg, don't worry, I washed my hands really well before using your pen to sign Zachary out of school...I promise!!) :)

There is no moral to this story and nothing to be learned...though wipes and a change of clothes would have been nice...hahahahahaha!  So I guess there is something to be learned!!

I'm still mortified thinking about it all.  That didn't just happen...did it?